Kill All the Lawyers (solomon vs lord) Page 25

  "I was thinking about a piano for the family room," Victoria said.

  "Big TV would be better. High-def for the ball games."

  "I looked at this Steinway. The Living Room Grand model. It would be perfect."

  "Only if you're living with Rachmaninoff."

  "I'd like a grand piano."

  "And I'd like a big-ass TV."

  Herbert pointed the sledgehammer toward the opening in the wall. "Ah s'pose Ah could add a music room, if we encroach on the property line."

  "Good compromise," Victoria said.

  "I'm in," Steve said.

  He wrapped an arm around both of them and gave a good squeeze. Bobby came into the room from the kitchen, nibbling on half an Oreo cookie. "Hey, Uncle Steve. What's going on?"

  "I'm counting my blessings, kiddo. You want a group hug?"

  "No way. Hugging's for babies."

  Steve let his gaze take them all in. His father, his lover, his nephew. His blessings. He felt his eyes tear up.

  "You crying?" Bobby asked.

  "Sinuses," Steve lied.

  SOLOMON'S LAWS

  1. Lying to a judge is preferable to lying to the woman you love.

  2. Thou shalt not screw thy own client …unless thou hast a damn good reason.

  3. When you don't know what to do, seek advice from your father. . even if he's two candles short of a menorah.

  4. If you're going to all the trouble to make a fool of yourself, be sure to have plenty of witnesses.

  5. When a woman is quiet and reflective, rather than combative and quarrelsome, watch out. She's likely picturing the bathroom without your boxers hanging on the showerhead.

  6. A creative lawyer considers a judge's order a mere suggestion.

  7. When you run across a naked woman, act as if you've seen one before.

  8. Love is chemistry and mystery, not logic and reason.

  9. Q: What do you call a judge who is old, cantankerous, and flatulent?

  A: "Your Honor."

  10. You won't find it in Darwin, Deuteronomy, or Doonesbury, but it's an essential truth of human nature: we'll all kill to protect those we love.

  11. I won't lie to a lawyer's face or stab him in the back, but if I have the chance, I'll look him in the eye and kick him in the cojones.

  12. When you cut through all the bullshit of career, status, and money, at the end of the day all that matters is love and family.

  FB2 document info

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